fuck this

http://littleindia.tumblr.com/

Butterflies

"quiet but I'm sure there is something here.

tell me all the things that I want to hear."

he still gives me butterflies.

Lost

"it's love that leaves and breaks the seal of always thinking

you would be real happy and healthy and strong and calm.

where does the good go?"

Everything inside of me has crumbled. Remember those astonishing blogs I used to write? Where I actually put time, effort, and my whole heart into it? What happened to that girl?

I feel like I've lost myself, like something died inside of me. I don't express myself anymore like I used to. I don't express myself period. It's like I'm not even the same person. Where did my happiness go? Where did my confidence go? It's like every unique and interesting thing about me evaporated. I need to know how to find myself.

547 Days Ago

"I'm just lying here in the hospital and felt so compelled to finally write you a note sweetheart and what a more appropriate place would there be to do so than on your ipod :) I have such a hard time saying what i'm about to say to you through words. Lately I have been feeling as though I am incapable of being the boyfriend that I should be. You have given me the world and all I have brought to you in return is heartache and greif and for that I am eternally apologetic although I don't show it. I haven't really been able to convey my emotions as of lately. I've been putting up this front in which I come off as someone void of emotion and compassion and I'm trying to change. I've just been going through a lot recently and I think no wait, I know that you deserve to be made to feel like the beautiful soul that you truly are but perhaps more importantly you deserve to be shown the same unconditional love that you show me each and every day. When I tell you that my feelings have not changed for you and that I've never stopped loving you I mean it. It is now from here on out my job to prove it to you. You have done so much for me and I will never take those things for granted as long as I live. I appreciate you and I love you more than any words could ever describe now and forever. I will never take you for granted katy. I messed up and still you forgave me. God I don't deserve you but I still have you and I'm not giving up. We will learn from each other and we will work through our individual shortcomings and our differences because love really does conquer all and my love for you will never cease to exist. I don't give a damn what anyone says or thinks about us. Don't be scared or insecure because at the end of the day you still have me and you will."

the most romantic thing anyone has ever written me. I found my ipod the other day and this was on it...

why do i fucking waste my time.

i feel like everyone around me is breaking up.

i just wish you'd come to my house, quietly come inside, bust open my door, pull me in your arms, and apologize. then kiss me passionately and everything will be okay.

but it's not okay. nothing's okay.

please don't leave me.