Change

"i'm miles from where you are. i lay down on the cold ground.

i pray that something picks me up and sets me down in your warm arms."

Change is good right? Then why does it feel so wrong?

I wanna go back... back to the way things used to be, back when you loved me more.

I miss the texts you'd constantly send me. I miss you wanting to be with me everyday even if it was just for a second. I miss the look you used to give me, like I was the most amazing girl in the world. I miss you telling me how pretty I am and how perfect I am. I miss the way you'd stumble on your words because you were afraid of saying the wrong thing. I miss the way you'd hold my hand, like you were showing me off to the world. I miss knowing that you thought you were the luckiest person in the world to have me. I miss being able to tell you everything. I miss how excited you'd get when we had a sleepover. I miss the nervousness you had around me everytime we kissed. I miss you wanting to take me to dinner and surprising me with roses.

Could I tell you that now? No because you've changed. You're not the hopeless romantic I thought you were. I thought we were perfect for each other but as each day goes on I see that we're not.

The thing is, you wouldn't change for me if I told you this. You'd tell me to fuck off and have a nice life without you. Why is that? Why is it so different now? Is it my fault or was that all just an act to get me? I know I should let you go, I'm never going to be happy. But I can't... I can't be alone... and that's one thing that'll never change.