growing

"on your back with your racks as the stacks are your load"

Sometimes I wonder why when we are children we want to grow up so badly. We try so hard to be the best and reach for the stars when really the stars aren't all that bright. I wish I took my time finding those stars because now that I've landed I want nothing more than to disappear into the sky. Between phone bills, health insurance, jobs, schooling, and car payments, becoming an adult seems like the last thing I want to do. I'm not ready to take that step. I'm too young to take that step. Please let me go back to the ground. I don't want the stars anymore.

why

"i'm heavily broken and i don't know what to do.

can't you see that i'm choking and i can't even move?"

Why would you take the most beautiful and perfect person in the world to me and give him a terrible flaw? Why did I have to find these things? God I feel so sick. This is disgusting. Why would you do this to me? Everything was going to be perfect until now. Now I don't know if I can love him anymore...

insecure

"You break my heart into a thousand pieces, and you say it's because I deserve better?"

it feels as if everything is different now. my insecurities are now eating me alive. what do you see through your eyes? what is going on in your mind? I hope you aren't thinking about what tears me a part. i haven't felt like this since the last person cheated on me. i absolutely feel cheated on. is that so wrong? you broke my heart.

dream

"your reflection I've erased like a thousand burned out yesterdays.

believe me when I say goodbye forever"

I couldn't look in your eyes for I know if I'd fall for you again. Nothing beats the color of your eyes. I could see the beauty and the love in them. Your eyes are like an ocean and I'm drowning for your love. In almost an instant, I was awake in my bed. My head was spinning and I felt hungover yet I wasn't intoxicated. Then the question repeated over and over again; was it a dream? I might as well pretend it wasn't because it was never meant to happen. It was a dream; a wonderful, amazing, exciting dream that lasted once in a lifetime.