Reality

"i hate everyone upon this cursed earth"

And the reality of this is...

No one should depend on anyone other then themselves. If you do just that, you'll be fine.

I've always been somewhat of a loner. Not many people like me and I don't like many people. I can't really find why that is. I'm a nice person, I have friends. Maybe I'm just not meant to be one full of popularity. Maybe I'm meant to be the geek. I like being the geek, it doesn't bother me, but lack of friends... that does.

I can honestly say I have four friends. Two guys, two girls. They're not even really friends either. I can't consider them that anymore.

1. You are my boyfriend. Friend may be in that description but you're not my friend at all. I can't talk to you about anything. I fear that you'll judge me. Sure, we talk all the time but that doesn't mean you can be a true friend. You try, you try so hard, but I won't let you in.
2. You read my blogs. You know who you are. Throughout all of this you're the only person who has come close to being a friend to me. Sure, you don't text me unless I text you, but when you do you always check up on me. I know you sincerely care about me. That's something I need.
3. You are always preoccupied with your boyfriend, whether you want to be or don't. He always comes first, not me. I can't handle that. It's not fair that every night you can sleep out it "has to be" with him. Even though that bothers me, you are still my one and only true best friend. You'd do anything for me and I would for you. I just need more of the reassurance.
4. You don't even live in this state anymore. I miss you so much and we talk now more than we did when you lived here. I want to be your room mate so bad. I know I should be, but I can't yet.

And the reality of this is...

People are shitty. No one can ever be truly trusted. People will use you to get to what they want, especially girls. Girls are fucking bitches, I hate them. And as much as I hate them, I wish I had a group of girl friends or at least a true best friend by my side.