Feelings

"I should have never thought of you, of you. you're pushing

and pulling me down to you but I don't know what I want."

I never know what to do with myself anymore. I'm so concerned about doing the right thing I forget that I have my own happiness to think of. I'm sure my happiness is not worth the expense of someone else's but everyone deserves to be happy at some point right? I don't know what I want. I have too many feelings and I'm sick of listening to my heart instead of my mind. I'm smarter then that. I know better then that.

I need to reinvent myself. I can't wait to get out of here. I need to learn to stop and just think about myself and my future instead of minor things. Nothing really matters anymore. I'm always so damn confused. Contimplating this and that. I don't want to mess anything up yet I want what I want when I want it. That's how it always is. We all want something and we all fight for it if we have the guts. I can't fight for this. I shouldn't fight for this. Fuck this blog.